Being Bullied…..

After hearing the sad story about the young lady who took her own life after constant and cruel bullying at school I have not been able to get the story out of my mind.

As a Martial Artist most people look at me and see someone who is beyond bullying. I can’t tell you how many times I hear, “so you could really kick my butt!” I even have heard those comments from my Preacher! For the record, yes I probably could. But then again I was a Marine and even without the last 7 years of training and a Second Degree black belt I still could have done that.

What most people don’t know anymore is who I was before July 1998, when I enlisted. I was a smart, geeky kids, who was incredibly insecure (still am but you can’t see it). I didn’t really fit in anywhere. I wasn’t as smart as the really smart people, I wasn’t very good at any sports, I didn’t break the rules. I created my own world to survive and lived there for a long time. Only one friend has survived that time and both of us are way different people now.

Who I was then is what makes me want to help others.

The first thing I want to say is that old adages don’t always apply to today’s society. Has anyone ever told you, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” There is no statement more false than that. I have been in several fights, in high school, in the Corps, and as a Martial Artist. I have fought in the Gym, on Ships, in the street, in barracks, and in the Cage. I can’t recall with any clarity what it feels like to be punched a few weeks to a few months after a fight, I can however recall almost every bully I met, at what age I met them, and even though it has been more than 12 years since I have been in school I can still remember how it felt.

Through much of my young adult hood it was the desire to prove to others my worth and my desire to not be bullied that drove me. I wasn’t making my own decisions; my past was speaking for me.

Listen to this:

"There is another kind of violence, and that is violence by talking. It can leave you hurting more than a cut with a knife. It can leave you bruised inside" (National Association of Attorneys General 2000).

It wasn’t until after I got my green or blue belt that I realized that I was not longer living in fear of being bullied. What changed? What was Different? And what Role does martial arts play in preventing bulling?

There is a lot to unpack there, in the next few weeks we will deal with the causes of bullying, What kids can do, What parents can do, and the role of the Dojo in helping people deal with their fears. We will even take a side trip in to opinions and discussion on School policy and how we have to work within and sometimes without the system that is in place.



If you or someone you know has been bullied or has a question about being bullied feel free to contact me at ggamartialarts@gmail.com

Sensei TJ